Since I wrote The Fantastic Life (order your copy here), I have been reading more and more books in the “self-help” category. Some are good, some great, some are just ok. Still, I learn something from every single book. I thought I would share a couple of the best self-help books I have read in the past 3-4 years and send along a list from Success Magazine as well. I had read a majority of the list below but found a couple that I have already ordered and are excited to read.
Here are a few of mine (not from the list):
—Untethered Soul, Michael Singer—Total new age but seriously well written for even laymen. You will learn and think about what he writes for a long long time. Singer talks about your relationship with your thoughts and how to free yourself.
—A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle—This is similar to the above book but goes even deeper. Tolle has a great way of explaining who we are and what we can become.
—A Curious Mind, Brian Grazer—I have always been curious. After reading this book, I knew I had been on the right track and now have embraced this daily.
–IF you are a runner—Once a Runner, John L Parker—This is simply the best motivational and inspirational book on running I have read….loved it.
Your turn. Send me your BEST book you have read and why…I want to see what you think and grow with your knowledge.
Rule # 11 from my book The Fantastic Life: The Growth Paradigm
25 Self-Help Books You (Probably) Haven’t Read
By Michael Pietrzak
March 16, 2020
The solution to every problem you’ve ever had is written in a book somewhere.
The critical path to the goal you’re chasing is waiting for you on a bookshelf.
You already know that leaders are readers, and that your success is correlated to how much you read.
But what do you do when you’ve read all the classics? Here’s an alternative list of titles that you may have missed. Many are not shelved in the self-help section, but each will open up new roads into your wide-open future.
Overcoming the Odds
“The world you desire can be won. It exists… it is real… it is possible… it’s yours.”
―Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Success never falls in our lap and always asks a price of us: that we face challenges that most mere mortals would avoid. To win, you’ll need to cultivate grit. These books will show you how.
Picture a world where an invisible Destroyer is collapsing the global economy, where factories and railroads are closing, cities are emptying, and bands of dangerous gangs roam the countryside.
Now, imagine you’re the book’s heroine, Dagny Taggart, the world’s best hope against the descending dark age, where productive members of society are drained by leeches who control the levers of government and law.
Rand’s book is full of extreme caricatures, and was written a cautionary tale about communism, but when you’re facing your own incredible odds, invoking Dagny Taggart’s indomitable stubbornness will carry you though your own dark ages.
Any grade schooler knows the Trojan Horse story, but fewer know the sequel: the beleaguered journey home of Greek soldier, Odysseus. A trip that should take weeks drags out to 10 years as he’s held captive by a magical nymph, shipwrecked, and battles a giant cyclops. When most of his friends are turned into pigs, you can’t help feel bad for the guy.
He returns home to find that nobody recognizes him and that a throng of suitors are moving in on his estranged wife. He’ll have to prove his physical prowess to win her back (that’s just how they rolled in 700 B.C.)
The story will inspire you to keep going, but it’s also an invitation to avoid creating enemies as you hustle; if Odysseus hadn’t taunted the cyclops, he could have avoided Poseidon’s fury.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull wants only one thing: to test the limits of seagull flight. Sure, his family and friends flap their wings each day, but to them it’s only a means to food. When the tribe gets fed up with Jon’s constant barrel-rolls and high-speed near-misses, the elders exile him to the ends of the Earth.
What he finds there, and even beyond, is the purity of chasing your purpose even when the whole world is against you. This 144-page book is one to be read often, whenever the “sane” world has you nearly convinced that it would be easier to fall in line than embrace your destiny.
Leaving the world of fiction for the ground of rigorous research, here’s a book about how to pick yourself up when you get knocked down, then thrive. Brown’s three-step formula is simple: 1) Deal with the emotions that follow failure with self-compassion; 2) Investigate the false stories you’ve created about this setback; and 3) Choose a new, empowering attitude that will let you use the broken structure of your failure as the kindling for the blazing fire of your success.
Brown also teaches us to ignore criticism, pointing out that most naysayers don’t have the courage to step into “the arena” themselves. “If you’re not in the arena getting your a** kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback,” she says.
This is a simple story about a man riding west on a motorcycle with his son, but entwined in the narrative are complex philosophical investigations. One explores the concept of “stuckness,” the truism that in anything we do—building a business, or a relationship, or fixing a motorcycle—we’ll encounter unexpected and seemingly hopeless problems that stop us cold.
In this trap, we have a choice: rage, or become a blank slate. Choose the latter path, and we can see problems from a new angle, and the solution presents itself. In other words, the obstacle becomes the way.
Following Your Heart
“Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being. Everything other than this process is secondary.”
—David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do,” counseled Steve Jobs. Imagine seeking your own greatness by building someone else’s dream—impossible! Follow Sinatra’s lead, and do it your way.
Siddhartha is a bright young man born into privilege in ancient India. He rejects the formula for happiness handed to him by his elders and leaves for the wilderness in search of enlightenment.
This story, which parallels Gautama Buddha’s, is as old as history; one that appears across cultures: a burning sense in our bones that the path others have walked can never be our own. Siddhartha ultimately rejects Buddhism to follow his own path. It shows us that even the greatest teacher and the most time-tested formula may not be right for us.
Despite the title, this book contains universal wisdom. Each chapter presents a self-contained lesson, which means you can pick it up and read a section at a time. Some of his advice will make readers uneasy, but that makes it no less true. For example:
“Live as if your father were dead.” It’s morbid, but who hasn’t at one time sacrificed their own desires to make a parent happy, with miserable results?
“If you don’t know your purpose, discover it now.” This may seem dead obvious, but how many of us know, and follow, our North Star?
A growing economy and technological improvement continue to deliver material abundance into most of our lives… so why are we so unhappy? This book starts from there and attempts an answer: We’re spiritually impoverished. (If that makes you uncomfortable, realize that developing a connection to the Universe doesn’t require religion.)
In this book, following your heart means quieting your mind long and often enough to hear your heart’s messages, which are always the source of our deepest desires, and the path to great self-improvement. Bernstein’s serendipitous anecdotes will inspire you to do just that.
Singer’s memoir starts with his desire as a young man to disappear into the woods and meditate, and ends with becoming the CEO of the billion-dollar company, WebMD. He tells his story of a series of incredible life adventures, and explains that each was possible only because he surrendered his own will to “life.” In other words, like Jim Carrey in Yes Man, he decided to say yes to whatever opportunity presented itself.
Surrendering your preferences and renouncing goals might seem like the opposite of following your heart, but in fact, it perfectly demonstrates the principle. Singer made following his heart the same as following life’s plan for him, instead of fighting it, like most of us do.
Becoming a Leader
“Victims recite problems, leaders provide solutions.”
―Robin Sharma, The Leader Who Had No Title
Want to lead others? You’d better learn to lead yourself first. These books will show you how to take control of your thoughts, words and actions, so you can become the kind of person who’s capable of building thriving enterprises.
Although one of Sharma’s shorter, lesser known books, it’s one of his most powerful. His storytelling prowess shines through in this simple fable about an average employee who gets a visit from the ultimate leader.
By the end of the book—which you can read in an afternoon—you’ll understand that leadership is not a role, but a mindset that you can apply whether you are a shoeshine boy or emperor of the world.
Fair warning: By the end, you’ll no longer be able to blame others for your situation, feel like a victim, or stand idly by while any task goes undone.
Ruiz borrows ancient Toltec wisdom to teach us four ultra-simple mindsets that we can adopt, which will turn us into effective leaders. The first agreement is the most powerful: “Be impeccable with your word.”
In plain English that means: Know that each word out of your mouth (or spoken in your head!) has incredible power to create the reality around you. This means to be an effective leader of ourselves and others, we must jettison negativity and judgment, and instead choose words that create confidence, love and inspiration.
Creating a Sense of Wonder
“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.”
―Carl Sagan, Cosmos
What do all successful people have in common? Enthusiasm. Life excites them, and motivates them to get off the couch and do great things. We can create the same drive in ourselves by reading books that remind us how strange and vast the Universe is.
Bet you didn’t expect to see a sci-fi comedy on a list of self-help books. This five-book tome will strike you for its pure, joyful imagination. The plot spans the entire, infinite Universe, on a timescale spanning well before the construction of planet Earth to moments after the heat death of the Universe.
Hard-nosed self-help books that preach goals and time management and positive attitude are invaluable. But take a break from the seriousness once in a while to read farces like this one. It will do two things for you: take your work less seriously and kick-start your imagination—good for both your work and personal life.
Carl Sagan was a genius—not for his scientific knowledge, but for his ability to present complicated concepts in astronomy, biology and physics to children—and even to world-weary adults. Cosmos elegantly describes what we know about reality, aka the cosmos, over its 14 billion-year existence.
Cosmos illuminates the vastness of the Universe, and our mote-ish place in it. You’ll walk away with a new clarity on the shortness of life. This is incredibly freeing and will help you let go of “the small stuff,” but also remind you that you are part of the Universe and capable of the same greatness.
The story follows college student Esther Greenwood through her internship, near suicide and recovery in a 1950s mental hospital. It’s normally read as a critique of the social dynamics of the patriarchy, but it can be appreciated for a single quote that lays out the dilemma we all face: How do we choose the right path? To paraphrase:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story… One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor… I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.”
What does this teach? Decisiveness. The Universe offers an infinite number of opportunities, but also opportunity costs. To be effective, just choose your figs already.
Building Business Relationships
“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.”
—Francis Phillip Wernig
Too many entrepreneurs try to build businesses by obsessing over data from behind a laptop. They forget that the fastest way to succeed is to create powerful relationships. Ditch the five-step formula someone is trying to sell you, and try these human-centered strategies.
This is a niche book about how to make money as a life coach, but the lessons apply to anyone who is trying to build a client list. The authors’ advice mocks the Silicon Valley startup approach, but it works.
Their prescription? No cold calling. No website or marketing. No business cards or networking events. The best way to create a client is to have powerful, face-to-face conversations. Any time spent outside of these conversations is not effective, they say.
In a world that worships click funnels and Instagram accounts, this alternative, human-centered marketing strategy might just set you apart from the competition.
Seth Godin is a particularly effective marketer because he knows that marketing is not about “getting the word out,” but about serving others. Marketing has a bad rap because many ad agencies think that he who shouts the loudest, wins.
Instead, marketing can be used as a synonym for helping others solve problems—preferably a carefully curated tribe of people who you connect with in a genuine way. If your Facebook ads aren’t delivering the ROI you expect, read this book to find out why.
Sooner or later, every entrepreneur discovers that negotiation is an indispensable skill. Traditional books and business school wisdom take great pains to show us exactly how humans are rational, calculating machines designed to maximize our interests.
But we’re not.
Humans are a messy bundle of emotions, biases and quirks, and this book argues that emotion is the biggest ingredient in any back-and-forth. The person who can be the most empathetic, the best listener, and who can create a deep connection can best judge their adversary’s desires, and get what they themselves want.
“The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure.”
—Henry David Thoreau
What’s the most precious asset in your work and business? You are! When you learn to coax the best from yourself, success is assured.
Have you ever seen an infant or toddler procrastinate? No. Humans are born curious and eager to “do” things. Procrastination is something trained into us, first by parents who tell us to eat your beans or you don’t get ice cream, then a school system that makes suffering a requirement of learning.
The Now Habit proposes we schedule fun and play before work: self-care, time with friends, even Netflix binges. Work gets whatever space is left in our calendars. Dr. Fiore’s research shows that this makes us far more productive. Why? Knowing that life isn’t endless toil frees our mind and spirit to enjoy our work. Try it; this will change your world.
1000 Awesome Things blogger Neil Pasricha went on to write a book intent on answering the question: What makes a happy life? The book is packed with happy advice, but one simple diagram stands out for its pure, simplistic genius. It’s a 2×2 table that shows we can operate in four modes: thinking, doing, resting and burning.
Most of us live in the Burn Box, always striving to cross one more task off our list. This constant hyperactivity is a recipe for burnout, and Pasricha shows that productivity is maximized by alternating between modes of being.
We would all love to quit our 9-5 to open our bar or bakery or consulting gig so we can do what we love all day. So why do 90% of small businesses fail in the first few years? It’s because most new entrepreneurs don’t end up doing what they love, but spend their waking hours on payroll, bookkeeping and clogged toilets instead of making those artisanal flourless cupcakes.
The E-Myth begs entrepreneurs to work “on” your business, not “in” your business. That means setting up reliable systems as soon as possible that will allow the company to function without you. Fail at this and you’ve just traded one job for another with many more headaches.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Did you get the memo? We’re all supposed to work tirelessly for 50 years so we can fill our too-big houses with toys we don’t have time to use because we’re busy raising over-achievers who will repeat the cycle, all to serve the god of endless economic growth. Or, you can opt out.
There is a tranquil minority walking among us who stress less, but live more. These are the advocates of the Slow Movement. They say no to cubicle lunches, four-minute book summaries, “multitasking” (whatever the heck that means), and monochrome, microwave dinners.
But they are not always slow. They follow what musicians call the “tempo giusto,” the right speed for the occasion. They have a turbo setting, but they don’t leave it engaged. Yes, you can enjoy life while producing great work—if you slow down.
This is an unassuming book that will forevermore live on your bookshelf. What’s the Essentialist mantra? Do less, but better. McKeown shows that when we distinguish between the “vital few” and the “trivial many,” then focus ONLY on the vital—massive results follow: spiked productivity, a reputation for getting things done, work promotions and tranquility. (80/20 rule, much?)
What poisons our productivity is an insistence on doing and having everything. When we become an Essentialist, we let go of that fantasy and discover that practically everything we were doing was unimportant.
What does purging old sweat pants have to do with becoming a better person? The author says it best: “The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.”
You’ve heard the dictum that how you do anything is how you do everything, and it’s true: The micro always creates the macro. If your personal space is cluttered, your life and mind will be, too.
In Kondo’s method, you only declutter once. When you experience the true peace and clarity of living lighter, you’ll never revert back to your hoarding ways.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
Losing sight of what’s important happens almost automatically. Great Work is almost never urgent work, and so we get swept away by the ringing phone, the jerk in traffic, the phone bill that’s overdue. If we’re not careful, the attention thieves will lead us straight to the grave before we’re aware it’s happening.
Kabat-Zinn has spent his entire career as a professor studying mindfulness and the science behind it. After a lifetime of this, he’s picked up some powerful perspective-granting tools.
This classic book can be picked up for five minutes at a time, with short chapters that teach you the value of standing in a doorway to watch the sunset, how to react when your family leaves dirty dishes in the sink, again, and how to spot your mind’s incessant judgments, and let them go.
When you find yourself frustrated or anxious, this book’s simple lessons can help plant your feet back on the ground.
This book was published in 135 countries, 26 languages, and spent 101 weeks on the best-seller list… and it’s about the size of a coaster. But wisdom doesn’t need volumes to contain it. Like Kabat-Zinn’s book above, this is one you can pick up when you catch yourself complaining that your co-worker used the old TPS cover sheet on his report or that the barista used skim milk instead of 1%.
In a world that prioritizes which vapid celebrity said what on Twitter, and getting a good deal at Costco, we all need a regular dose of perspective. That’s what every page of Carlson’s book delivers.